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CLOSED CHRISTMAS, BOXING DAY and NEW YEARS DAY




LASER COMBAT: RANK BADGES



Every time you play at Battle Zone Live you get a rank badge, This lets other soldiers see how good you are and to listen to your command in a battle situation.

Laser Combat Rank Private I'm in the army now. Thinks its going to be a laugh. More chance shooting himself than the enemy. Well at least you turned up.
Laser Combat Rank Lance Corporal Can’t stop nothing. Can push a car downhill as long as hismates are helping. Smash a shed down with a digger. Likes to think they know best.
Laser Combat Rank Corporal Stops bullets, using his head. Can push a car downhill. Smash a shed down. Does know best.
Laser Combat Rank Sergeant Stops bullets in his teeth and eats them. Pushes trains off their tracks. Uproots tall buildings. Freezes puddles with a single glance. Is Gods friend.
Laser Combat Rank Staff Sergeant Catches hyper sonic armour peircing finstabilized discarding sabot depleted uranium long rod penetrators in his teeth and eats them. Kicks bullet trains off their tracks. Uproots tall buildings and walk under them. Freezes water with a single glance; parts it with trifling gesture. Is God.
Laser Combat Rank Warrant Officer II Under no circumstances to be issued with gun or ammunition, and must even be closely supervised when handling sharp pieces of paper - staples are right out. Says: "Init" a lot. Not allowed inside buildings of any size. Makes good boat anchor. Mere existence makes God shudder.
Laser Combat Rank Warrant Officer I Under no circumstances to be issued with guns or ammunition. Allowed inside buildings, but only small ones. Mere existence makes God shudder. But still better than Warrant Officer II.
Laser Combat Rank Second Lieutenant Can be trusted with either gun or ammunition but never both. Must have train ticket pinned to jacket and mittens tied to sleeves. Falls over doorsteps while trying to enter tall buildings. Plays in Mud puddles. Studders.
Laser Combat Rank Lieutenant Is dangerous to self and comrades if armed and unsupervised. Recognises trains two out of three times. Runs into tall buildings. Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of life jacket and water wings. Talks to walls.
Laser Combat Rank Captain Can sometimes handle firearms without shooting themself. Is run over by trains. Barely clears outhouse. Dog paddles. Mumbles to themself.
Laser Combat Rank Major Can fire a speeding bullet with tolerable accuracy. Loses tug-of-war against anything mechanical. Makes impressively high marks when trying to leap tall buildings. Swims well. Is occasionally addressed by God, in passing.
Laser Combat Rank Lieutenant Colonel Faster than a thrown rock. Almost as powerful as a speeding bullet. Leaps short buildings with a running start in favourable winds. Walks on water of indoor swimming pools if lifeguard is present. May be granted audience with God if special request is approved at least three working days in advance.
Laser Combat Rank Colonel Faster than an energetically thrown rock. As powerful as a speeding bullet. Leaps short buildings. Walks on water, as long as its not more than 1 metre deep. Granted audience with God still needs at least three working days notice.
Laser Combat Rank Briagadier General Almost as fast as a speeding bullet. More powerful than a shunting engine on a steep incline. Leaps short buildings with a single bound. Walks on water if sea is calm. Talks to God.
Laser Combat Rank Major General Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Leaps tall buildings in a single bound. Walks on water. Lunches with God, but must pick up tab.
Laser Combat Rank General I say, you do, been there done that. Enough said.